“Love” is very tricky, if you aren’t in tune with your VOIDS, you can truly think you like & even love someone all the while it’s truly your VOIDS craving attention, affection & intimacy. You aren’t truly ready & don’t really want a relationship, you just subconsciously want temporary comfort & that is ok & very normal, it’s even better if you are aware of this & can articulate those needs/wants & make it even clearer so the person in your life has a clear idea of how to move forward with you.

We have to start getting into the habit of checking in with our voids BEFORE we make certain decisions, not just with relationships but with food, alcohol, smoking & even before we send late night texts etc. as humans we tend to act on impulse & emotion. We want to feel good so badly that we enter situations, jobs, relationships without thinking of our TRUE WHY. Some of us don’t even care if we feel good we just want to be STIMULATED, so some people choose to be angry, annoyed, upset or to hold grudges if they can’t fill their void of NOT having control they’ll fill it with anger, attitudes or passive aggressive behavior

The true question is, what is my VOID trying to tell me right now? BEFORE I ACT or RESPOND. Instead of seeking comfort externally through sex, premature relationships, alcohol, drugs i ask myself how can i give my void what it needs in a HEALTHY way. What is the SOURCE of my void? What emotions have surfaced in this moment?...Anxiety, fear, loneliness? What triggered these emotions, a song, movie, smell, tone of voice, a persons name or memory?

When I’m intrigued by someone before i decide to date them i literally ask myself “Do i even like this person” or do i just like how his attention makes me feel, do i like how his compliments , time & affection make me feel? Do i miss being in a man’s presence? These are legit questions that can SAVE us a lot of time & heart ache.

Personally because I have addictive behaviors when i feel the urge to emotionally binge eat or smoke or drink i have to check in with myself & intentionally pay attention to what I’m feeling, where i am, what is going on RIGHT THEN in that moment, what triggered this anxiety & emotion. Once i acknowledge the source, my practice is to either write or talk out loud in my car on my voice memo. I think talking out loud is so therapeutic because I’m able to outwardly project & get rid of some of that anxious energy with my voice.

Most times what we are seeking or craving is inward NOT outward. Go back inside. Acknowledge your #VOID dissect it & then befriend it...the void may always be there and that is ok, but you get to decide if you will fill it with POSITIVE or negative behavior.