AYAHUASCA JOURNEY
Ayahuasca
The Medicine That Healed My SOUL….
5 yrs ago while on my journey of spiritual awakening and self healing I learned about AYAHUASCA. I asked a lady that had experienced this plant medicine for the information of the ayahuasca retreat she visited and with so much love she responded. NO,
“You don’t find Ayahuasca. When your soul is ready, mother ayahuasca will find you.”
After that moment I stopped searching for the plant medicine. Fast forward to today, I now know that I was no where near ready to receive this medicine 5yrs ago. Gratefully the medicine found me this year and here is my experience. This is a VERY LENGTHY post so I will title each section appropriately just in case there is a specific story you are more interested in. I do understand many things I wrote will sound “crazy” odd or weird lol. I took a long time posting this blog because I wanted to protect my experience which is very important to me, but I also know how our experiences help others so I hope that even if you all don’t understand you respect my growth journey just as I would respect yours. (smiley face lol) ALSO there aren’t many pictures because this was a spiritual retreat for 10days that DID NOT ALLOW cell phones, only connections that took place came from within.
Day 1
So far this trip has already been amazing. Meeting such beautiful like minded people, speaking about the same things & with the same intentions to grow & get better even if it’s scary or hurtful.
This place is so beautiful full of beautiful flowers, palms trees, passion fruits, star fruit, pineapple, real bananas & oranges. What’s even more beautiful is the essence of this place, the history, The intention behind every action, every plant, every sunrise & sunset. The people here are called the “Shipibo People” a very intelligent people who still carry on the teachings of their ancestors from thousands of years ago.
Today we had our first flower bath which is infused with flowers & essences to clear our energies, then we had to dry ourselves in the sun. Once everyone dried we all sat around & spoke aloud our intentions with ayahuasca & what we’d hoped it would reveal to us. Today we just got acclimated to our environment and each other.
Day2
7am wake up to yoga
7:30 🗣VOMATIVO 🤮
Vomativo is a practice used to clear out negative energy from your gut. This process clears out The gunk, bile, trauma, pain & ancestral negativity you’ve held within your body. They create a brown potion using plants which Tastes like tea, & then you drink the potion, wait 30 seconds & you continue to drink water until the potion forces you to 🗣VOMIT (vomitevo) Lol it SUCKS!! & It hurts. Imagine drinking a tasteless tea & then forcing yourself to drink warm water until your stomach feels like it’s going to POP & your body sends a signal to your brain that it has to VOMIT or you will drown!! That is was Vomativo is Lol but it was so beautiful because usually vomiting can be embarrassing but in this case we all were yelling & routing each other on & encouraging one another to vomit on purpose, telling each other your deserve to release that pain, you deserve to release that negative energy 🗣DRINK DON’T THINK!! Is what we kept yelling 😂 as each purpose struggled, gagging & crying lol before you knew it EVERYONE was vomiting at the exact same time lol again 🗣IT SUCKED!! Lol we couldn’t eat or even look at water after that lol
1st Ayahuasca Ceremony
@6:30 we go down to the Maloka for yoga & then at 8pm we will have our 1st Ayahuasca ceremony! I don’t even think it’s hit me yet to be honest. I’m nervous but I’m so ready!! I just want to grow, heal & get better. I’m ready!!! Ok I’ll check in tomorrow ✌🏽
We began at 6:30 by doing yoga which was very nice, it gave me a great opportunity to be present & soak in how incredible these moments were. The room was dark with a couple of candles. Once we finished yoga i payed back & fell asleep. Our 1st Ayahuasca ceremony was to begin at 7:30. When i woke up the guy next to me was sitting down & the facilitators were motioning for me to come over. The room was even more dark now & In a daze i got up & walked over with NO IDEA what the hell was going on. I sat down with the two facilitators Sam & Claude & to my surprise a shaman. I didn’t realize The Shamans has already entered the room while i was asleep.
The mistra had a hug bottle that i believe was a strawberry Fanta soda bottle lol but don’t quote me on that, i didn’t have my glasses on & it was damn near pitch black in the room. Right before the mistra poured my shot glass of what i now know was Ayahuasca, Sam leaned over & told me how much my story about my dad sounds like her story. She said it really touched her heart & resembles so much her relationship with her alcoholic father. After this brief whisper the mistra handed me the shot glass of red stuff & i looked at Sam & Claud like “what am i supposed to do now?” & they looked at me like girl wth are you doing , Drink it!! Lol mind you i just woke up so i didn’t know what the hell was going on lol i couldn’t even see lol so i drank the shot, STILL not putting 2 & 2 together that i was drinking the Ayahuasca 😂😳🙄🙄 it taste like Tabasco sauce lol it was weird & really caught me off guard but i took it to the head like the G that i am 😎
I went back to my mat & waited to see some shit lol visions, geometrical shapes, hell i was ready to hear Voices, see GOD 😂 but nothing happened. Now the room was pitch black with no lights & all i could think of was damn do i feel nauseous or is my stomach hurting from period cramps 🙄 orrrr do i have to pee? 🤔 i was all in my head, yet still trying to stay present. 30minutes or longer passed & NOTHING!! I was like damnnnn this sucks my stomach hurts & i have no idea why & on top of that i haven’t seen not 1 vision lol So i payed back down & all of a sudden the mistros began singing. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard in my life. Soothing & luring & enchanting. I finally felt something, it felt like they were physically pulling me with their voices, like sucking me in with a vacuum. I instantly sat up & instantly felt nauseous.
All i could think of was ok this is it!! I’m bout to see some shit, heal some traumas & grow 😂 unfortunately i ain’t see shit, i didn’t vomit but i did spit a couple times lol annoyed i layed back down. The Shamans were working their way around the room. 5 shamans sing songs called “Iquitos” in front of you. After you take Ayahuasca, they take a bigger dosage it helps them see into the spirit world.
So when they are in front of you they can see into you. Your fears, pain, blockages, energetic pains held in the body & once they see what you’re holding they sing & speak to the spirit world, sending you healing energy to release those negative entities. Then the 1st mistra got to me. I had heard her voice singing to the guy next to me but when she sat right in front of me i instantly felt an overwhelming need to cry. I wasn’t sad, but i wanted to cry. My face was frowned like i was crying but i didn’t feel any tears, it was sooo weird & then all of a sudden it felt like rivers were flowing from my eyes uncontrollably & i had no control or idea why i was now crying & i mean boo hoo crying. But i just let go & released it all. Once i cried it all out for a few minutes i was just sitting there with my eyes closed, mouth open just in a daze, at peace, rocking back & forth with no thoughts, i was just present. Keep in mind this medicine makes you feel drunk/high the higher the dosage.
Each time the shaman finished singing to me me i laid down & reconnected with what i was feeling. The 2nd shaman came & when he sang i noticed how tense my face was. It was not only tense but frowned up like i was angry. My lips were poked out my shoulders were up, my forehead was even frowned. & when i became aware i intentionally softened, while singing it felt like he was calling me to open up, to allow, to not fight it.
Visions of the past
So i released my shoulders & unclenched my face & instantly i started to think about Sasha my German Shepherd that passes away right after my house burned down. my dad who died of liver cancer. black and white, my car that died in my house fire & my pawpaw who passed away when i was 6yrs old. Right when i tapped into those emotions the shaman was done & i wasn’t ready for him to leave but i realized he had opened me up now it was my job to explore what had come to surface.
SASHA
So i laid down & I spoke to Sasha & instantly broke down crying. Telling her how much i missed her, thanking her for always being there for me & saving my life so many times especially being there for me soaking up all of my pain during the fire. I apologized for not being mentally present for her like she deserved, for leaving her to be in toxic relationships & for needing her to heal me after those relationships ended. i went back to the day i allowed he to transition gracefully (put her to sleep) she also died of liver failure like my dad smh & i thought about our last hug, her walking up to me & laying her head in my arms with tubes in her arm.
My baby was saying goodbye & tonight i got a chance to hug her sooooo many more times. I got to thank her for being there for me when i didn’t know how to be there for myself & i let her know Cleo is doing a great job filling in her spot, i told her how proud she’d be of me being sober!! I cried so hard when i told her how hard things got when she left, how depressed & miserable i got without her how my world stopped & turned upside down, i revisited my saddest moments without her & then I released them. & i felt an INSTANT relief like that pain/guilt was no longer apart of my body, mind or spirit.
Black & White Cat
Then i spoke to black & white & apologized over & over & cried my heart out i felt so guilty not saving her from the fire. I think subconsciously i blamed myself for her death. I cried so hard, i told her that i wanted to save her so bad, when i ran back into the house to save her i could only hear her but i couldn’t see because the smoke was so black & i was scared if i stayed in the house any longer i would die. I still remember her crying & i know she was scared & wanted em to help her & i tried, i just couldn’t get her from under the bed because my eyes were burning so bad.
& then out of no where burst out laughing because i can’t count how many times i told my momma “you better not be mean to black & white because she’s a angel cat” “she’s the Angel of this house” & literally if it wasn’t for her everybody in the house would have died because it was her voice that woke me up!! My cat was crying because of the fire alarms going off, when i heard her cries i woke up!! I spent some time thanking her for everything through the 9years she was there for me & told her how much i loved her & i again felt an instant relief of pain/guilt.
My Dad
Each shaman after that helped me deal with my dad & paw paw being gone. When i spoke to my dad i apologized to him for not being present while we was dying. I told him over & over how much i thought he was a good person & he didn’t deserve the life he had. I went back to each moment with him that made me feel scared, happy, traumatized, sad, pity, angry. I went to the memory of when i was super young not even 8yrs old yet, he got into a fight & had his jaw shattered & had to wear a mouth brace. Seeing that made me feel scared, pity for him & super uncomfortable to look at him, it made me feel powerless like i couldn’t help him & also like he was weak! I told him all of these things.
My vision took me back to age 4 when he & i were at the park with some of his friends & he let me get on the swing & somehow i ended up falling off the swing right on my back, that was the 1st time i felt the wind knocked out of me & the 1st i felt like he wasn’t there for me because he was busy talking to his friends. I told him this also. I went to the memory of him not understanding he hurt my feelings, that being the 1st time i was ever shut down emotionally. But i told him i understand now he just didn’t have the capacity to understand in that moment. I then went to a childhood memory of jumping off of the couch taking tic tacs as sleeping pills before i went to sleep lol i remembered my mom & i singing “mmhm mhmm mhmm stupid Raymond” because my dad did some funny stuff when i was. A baby lol i recalled stories my mom told me about my dad how he tried to commit suicide one time & i began apologizing to him again, telling him i understand why you couldn’t be there for me & be apart of my life even though i wish you were.
Then I went to good memories of us with the same bob Marley posters hanging in our rooms & watching the CSI shows right before bed lol i remember going to his apartment & he tried to hide smoking weed from me lol i wish he didn’t feel like he had to hide. I told him i was a year & some change sober & that he would be so proud of me right now for breaking our generational curse. We had a great moment ..& then i felt relief of pain/guilt
PAW PAW
& then i went to my house behind paw paw & remembered the kictchen, the dining room table, the living room with the couch & tv ..my bed room but i couldn’t remember my moms bedroom or a bathroom. Then my vision took me to paw paws house ..his kitchen, him eating at his kitchen table biscuits (me eating the soft busicuit tops only & him getting mad) lol while my momma cooked. His living room with the tv had a whole bunch of guns & a round sofa. The room with a mirrored wall & a furnace. His bathroom & his bedroom which i could only remember being in once or twice, i think one night he let me sleep in there by myself when i woke up i was so lost like lol where is this?
I remembered his shed which looked soooo big to me lol the black things that would fall of his tree & is step on them to hear them crunch lol i remembered his chicken coupe at the back of the house which was so weird & scary to me back there. That time he let ride on the back if his lawn mower while he cut the grass & i fell off the back 😂 my momma said he felt bad lol but i had fun lol
then the time he took me on a road trip in his new winabego lol i had some nasty cereal, there was a bed i slept in & the we went to st. Augustine & all i remember was i couldn’t wait to go home lol i was so bored lol i remembered him coming to my house to watch me because i was sick & he was watching a rage in Harlem the whole time i was throwing up 😂 & i called my momma & he called me a chicken or a heffa 😂 cause i didn’t tell him 😂...then the time i learned how to use a phone 🤦🏽♀️Lol i learned his number 1st. & I’d call him & as soon a he’d answer I’d hang up the run over to his house in my mommas High heeled boots to see his facial expression. 😂 i did it about 3times then he answered & said he was calling the police to come get me 😂 & i ran over his house crying & screaming. I told him how proud he would be of me & my mom. How well we’re doing, both breaking the family generational curse of alcoholism. and I could tell he was smiling & laughing with me.
MY MOMMA!!!!
Then i started to see my beautiful momma. I was so grateful for her & at the same time fearful of losing her. I think my visions of her were to help me confront my fear of losing her. I thought about how all we do is laugh at our own inside jokes lol i mean cry laughing without even saying a word. I don’t hug her enough, tell her i love her enough, take in our moments together enough. I just had a overwhelming sense of wanting to hug her so badly. I miss her so much, like i wonder what she’s doing if shes laughing or is crystal getting on her nerves 😂 if she’s worried about me which i hope she isn’t.
My momma changed her whole life JUST FOR ME!! That’s crazy!! Like I’m able to be here just because of the decisions she internationally made. I need to be more available to her & not so caught up in my own stuff, alternate realaities. I want my mom to be so happy, & my fear was that she is not. I want her be fulfilled. & i just thanked her for everything & saw visions of us being sisters & mom & daughter & just broke down crying!! Like this type of relationship with my mom is unreal & i have it!! I just kept telling her thank you!!
Then the ceremony was over, the shamans stopped singing & I was so at ease, full of peace & I felt weightless. When the ceremony ended I came to my tambolo (cabin) to rest.
Trauma & Pain in my body
My day was beautiful, I felt such a relief from my 1st ceremony. I felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off of me, literally thats how light my sprit and body felt. As usual before our ceremony we took our flower baths and got ready for yoga and our 2nd Ayahuasca ceremony. My 2nd round of Ayahuasca I was READY!! lol Now looking back, I was little bit to ready lol still excited about my visions and traumatic releases of pain the night before I was too excited about what the spirit world would reveal to me this night. I couldn’t wait to fly, see images, memories from my past, past life, different dimensions etc, I was ready for it all.
Long story short…..I AINT SEE SHIT!! lmao. Long story short, I was in excruciating pain ALL NIGHT LONG!!! My body hurt so badly all I could do was cry. Imagine having a migraine, the worst cramps, body aches and a pulsating sensation all through your body 4-5hrs straight. It was damn near unbearable. At one point the pain got so bad I called over the facilitator sam. I told her how much pain I was in and asked was this normal. She told me that pain in the body is very normal, it actually signifies that I may have a lot of trauma in my body since that is where the medicine seems to be working most.
She brought to my attention my addiction to alcohol and any other traumas my body has absorbed since I was born. She reminded me that those trapped emotions can still be lingering in my body, in the deepest part of my tissue and cells. With this information I felt a little better knowing the pain wasn’t pointless, it had purpose. Then I remembered MY purpose. I remember saying my 1st day at the retreat that I wanted to grow no matter how much it hurt lol. Well I ate those words quickly lol. Hours past and as each shaman sang to me the pain got worse and worse, but I sat with it. At this point everyone in the room was vomiting and I was praying to vomit, I just knew that if I could vomit I would feel better.
Each time a Shaman would finish singing I would gag uncontrollably. There is was no question how powerful these shamans were, i could literally feel them cleaning out my trauma from my body. Finally I counted my 5th and final shaman I coulnd’t wait for her to stop singing lol I was like giiiiiirrlllllll please hurry up lol I knew once she finished I would be released from the hold they had on my body and literally the SECOND she stopped singing I felt my stomach in knots. I immediately reached for my bucket and omitted 4-5hrs worth of trauma, which basically translates to a life time of stored and forgotten trauma. I was so relieved the ceremony was FINALLY over, but because my body had just gone through so much pain I didn’t have the energy to got back to my cabin, so I slept on my mat the entire night like. a baby.
!!!(PLEASE READ)!!!
I MET MY SOUL!!!!
3rd Ayahuasca
All i can say is “WTF WAS THAT😳😫🙄😁😂😅🤪😢😭😡” lol man!! Where do i start? I tried to go into last nights ceremony with an open heart, set intentions & humble respect for the medicine & the shamans. This time when we drank the medicine we were allowed to choose how much based on 3 cup sizes. Claude & i agreed that the 2nd cup size was best which was maybe a tad bit more than the shot n a half i had the day before. I going the shot & went back to my mat. I instantly felt nauseous 🙄 lol i was like damn body we gotta go through this again? Lol but after a couple minutes the nausea went away & i was so happy because i felt great. Cool this is going to be an easy & beautiful night i thought to myself haha. I believe i dosed off for a little while & then the medicine hit me like a bus!!!
I instantly saw shapes, moving fractal images, geometrical shapes, beautiful colors it was amazing. I could zoom in & out of one image to another lol i thought that was pretty cool, it was like i could fly lol THEN my body started to tingle, this feeling was familiar because i had felt this way at the beginning of my day 2 Ayahuasca experiences. Yet this time the intensity kept getting higher & scarier. The funny thing is i wasn’t in pain like the day before, i was just extremely extremely extremely uncomfortable. This intensity was all through my body & I’d try to move my body to shake the feeling off but that didn’t work. Imagine having an organsm but constantly second after second after second!
Eventually that intensity won’t feel good anymore, it’ll feel unbearable & that’s how i felt. Then I’d drift off into a fractal world when the intensity got to strong almost as if my body passed out from not being able to handle this intense feeling. When id open my eyes i was still in a fractal world with vibrant colors, moving shapes, i was able to see everything from a cellular level even with my eyes open. Lol shit was crazy. I could see the insides of flowers, the cellular make up of plants. Then the intensity came back, it’s so hard not to call it pain lol & i really want to but it wasn’t pain, i was just sooooo fucking unbelievably uncomfortable.
I DIDN’T KNOW HOW 2 LOVE MYSELF
The tingling was still there in my entire body, so i flashed my red light for Sam to come over. I told her I’m nauseous, & my body feels super funny, this feeling doesn’t feel good at all & I’m kinda scared. Sam told me again this medicine is really working in my body, try not to resist because what you resist will persist. She told me to find the pain in my body & send love to it, be aware of how I’m speaking to myself. She told me that maybe this is my time to practice self love, she said now it seems like that’s the reason I’m here, to learn how to give that love to myself that I’ve been seeking through alcohol, people, places & things. Then she kissed my cheek & walked away. I broke down crying 😭 lol Sam read the hell out of my ass like i was a open book test 😂 i cried because i knew she was 100% correct. I lacked so much self love, i wasn’t nice to myself, i never would send love to myself. I never spoke to myself with love, compassion or patience. So i laid down & took the rest of my time sending love to myself.
I hyped myself all the way up lol i was telling my breast how nice they were, my skin how vibrant & glamorous it is. I sent love to my nails, my butt, my liver, kidneys, eyes, spinal cord, my gut, intestines, colon, teeth, tongue, bones ear drums, vocal cords, thyroid, lymphatic system. EVERYTHING!! Lol i then imagined myself taking out my heart & washing it over crystal clear water that sparkled so much it looked like glitter. I washed my heart, i squeezed all of the gew out if it which was black & green & i kept washing, cleaning the inside of my heart, the corners & crevices. Then as a mistro came over to sing to me i laid down in front of him & kept sending love to myself. This made me so emotional, I just kept saying My life is beautiful and I love myself. After a while I actually began to believe it, and I felt this love for myself sooo deeply I cried even more.
Pain is TRAUMA leaving the body
From there my night was just fucking beginning 😂 my attention instantly shifted once the shaman moved to the person next to me. I took a deep breath & then i passed out. No more images, emotions or memories. Everything was just blank. & then the shaman started singing again & my stomach turned into KNOTS!! Twisting & Turning my body was shivering & that overwhelming intensity came back. I was MISERABLE & i couldn’t shake it. The more he sang the worse I felt. At this point I had a fever & was curled up in so many blankets in fetal position crying and shivering & all i could imagine was my great friend Titus saying “Allow Candy Just Allow”!!! I literally heard his voice the entire night, its like he was there walking me through every step, I mean every step. Every time I wanted to give up, his voice was the only thing I could hear cheering me on and motivating me.
MY SOUL CRIED
Then i it felt like he got a string & started pulling something out of my stomach & i started crying sooooooo sooooo hard!! It didn’t even hurt but i was hysterically crying & i remembered thinking, wait why am i crying lol. I cried so hard i started gagging, almost vomiting . It was a deep, dark, sad, sorrowful cry full of grief & pain. It felt as if the veins in my face were going to pop. It was the deepest cry I’ve ever felt in my life, i couldn’t stop. My face was frowned up like a baby crying. I felt just like a baby. & then i randomly thought to myself wow, my soul has been really sad. I then realized this wasn’t me crying, it was my SOUL. My soul was letting out all of the Pain, grief & sorrow she’s carried around for 29 years. I was shaking uncontrollably, as if i was having a seizure. i felt like i had the worst flew of my life, I’m positive i had a fever for the next hour. I was SICK with the chills, & crying so hard my teeth would chatter together like when a person is extremely cold. I turned into a little sick infant baby with a fever. & all i could think of was Damn, my soul was really sad!! I felt bad for her & an overwhelming sense of compassion.
I thought to myself no one has ever comforted my soul, no one hugged her when she experienced trauma, each experience I’ve encountered since childhood my soul has had to deal with it all alone with no one to speak to about it. I can’t even imagine how scary, hard, painful,lonely & traumatizing that was for her. While i continued to cry it all made so much sense, I’ve always felt a sense of deep sadness, pain, loneliness & grief to he PIT OF MY CORE!! Like no matter how beautiful my life was, how many things were going perfect for me i just couldn’t shake this sadness & id write about it every night. I couldn’t shake the confusion & overwhelming thought of my existence, why I’m here, what does all of this mean. At night sometimes i just cry my eyes out & i never had any true idea why, i just thought i was a hyper sensitive person.
But seeing my soul cry made so much sense, she was yearning to purge all of that toxicity she’d been holding on to. Imagine coming to this new dimension to grow, love & evolve .. its new, your birth is traumatic, my environment was traumatic, my parents leaving was traumatic, all of this trauma i & my soul experienced before the age of 3 she’d been trying to cope with all these years. It was like my body had to physically go through all of this pain with Ayahuasca to allow my soul to surface & just CRY!! It was so fucking beautiful!! Like wow, my soul deserves this , i thought to myself how i had NEVER felt connected to my soul, when I’d speak about my soul I’d literally picture a distant being in the sky, never within me & last night was the first time i saw my soul.
I MET MY SOUL
She literally stood over me & looked at me like she was so fucking proud of me!! It’s like she was saying “WELL DONE” & she was very tall, she was shining so bright yellow color like the sun & felt so warm & looked rested & rejuvenated. I cried even harder knowing we had just done this together!! She was apart of me now, it actually was like our 1st time ever meeting but like we knew each other forever. Meeting my soul has been the highlight of my life!! (edit) I randomly ran across this picture today and this is exactly how my soul looked when I met her. The second I saw this picture I cried.
I was laughing because seeing her be proud of me reminded me of the scene from the movie BAPS when Neicy was dancing & showing her skills while waiting in line to audition & her friend was hyping her up like “YEA yea that’s my girl, that MY girl, WE GOT THIS!! 🗣BaybeBaybehh (BOOYOWW” 😂 this made me laugh so hard lol
The shamans continued singing & at this point i had to sit up & look at the shaman in front of me like GIRLLLL 😂 can a sista get a break gah lee lol like they just wouldn’t not let up on us, everybody was vomiting so loudly & my body aches were still there at this point i had the cover over my head but i wasn’t consumed by the uncomfortableness like i was before i think because my soul & i got out a lot of pent up stuff out but my stomach was still turning the more they sang. At this point this shit was so crazy all i could do was laugh 😂 like how is this shit real.
Then I started repeating over & over “my life is beautiful” with a huge huge smile on my face. My life is beautiful, my body is beautiful, my mind is beautiful, my brain is beautiful..then i went into my brain & cleaned it like i did my heart, i told her how smart she was, intelligent, thoughtful, creative, i empowered my memory & told my mind we could do anything etc i showered my brain with love. & then the shamans got louder & my intensity in my body went to each fucking organ inside me. It was in my vagina, then my spinal cord which really hurt, inside my liver, kidneys, eyes this time i felt this intensity working, clearing & cleaning my insides, it sucked but i wasn’t as bothered because i could now see the bigger picture.
I laid back & let the medicine do it’s job while i smiled, cried & literally moaned like a baby. Then finally the shamans shut the hell up 😂 & my body was put to ease & i took the biggest deep breath & felt so fucking good. Once the shamans stopped singing you could hear everyone around the room take the biggest deep breathes lol i guess we were all going through hell together lol All i could think of was “ my soul cried, YES!!!” I knew it!! I knew there was something attached to me, a reason i could never be fully happy, a reason i alway had a sense of sadness! I was soooo happy for my soul like girl!!! Yessss!! You deserved that cry!! I was so fuckin crunk, my soul cried!!! & she was proud of me!! Just wow. That was such an amazing amazing experience. My soul is so beautiful i can’t wait for us to thrive TOGETHER for the rest of our lives!! 😊🌻
Lessons Learned, Lessons EARNED!
This was by far THE MOST AMAZING experience i’ve ever had in my life. Ayahuasca plant medicine allowed me to heal 30yrs worth of trauma in 10days. I was able to let go of Guilt, Abanonenement, fear and lack of self love and it was all replaced with compassion, love, patience and understanding. At times It was so scary it forced me to trust myself and love myself. This medicine not only healed my trauma but it showed the areas I I STILL NEED TO WORK ON. Self love!!! and showing up confidently my true authentic self. I have never felt more PERFECT than I do now. It also reminded me how important it is to stay focused on MY JOURNEY! This life is MINE, I can allow people to experience it with me, but I CANNOT allow anything or anyone deter me from my path. Im deeply grateful for this experience and Im greatly to embark on my new journey of self love, and continuous healing of my wounds. The shamans told us that after ayahuasca our spirits are fragile like we just got out of surgery so the AYAHUASCA plant medicine does part of the work, It’s up to ME to honor my soul and keep intentionally working on my self and growing as I journey through this beautiful life.
